Candy blogs: The sagging economy has become personal. My company will be closing its doors in our city on April 1, and I’ll be gone by the end of February. It wasn’t totally unexpected, but I was hoping to make the change on my terms and in my time. My husband and I have been through more than one season of being unemployed over the years, but it has never been ME before.
I’ve worked in this position for the last nine years, never looking forward to going to work for even a single day. I stayed for several reasons, the most important being that God never did release me until now. And although technically qualified for the work, I was never working in my passion or giftedness. The inner struggle was unbearable at times. I had spurts of being more settled for the sake of influencing others. But for the most part, I had a hole in my heart.
So now you would think I would be relieved and thrilled to know that my “sentence” is finally over.
I’ve been “moving toward joy” over the last few months. I know God is leading me more fully into a speaking and singing ministry, and I’ve been taking steps to move in that direction. But I’m still in the building stage. We’re not financially ready to jump off the cliff just yet. And I am definitely past my prime to be going back out into the marketplace looking for another job. Now begins the hard work …
Today my husband and I took stock of the income that would be coming in and went over our budget to see where to begin cutting: the satellite tv, the gym membership, the dining out, the rearranging of prescriptions, the convenience foods. Fortunately, we don’t have a lot of debt anymore since we’ve been doing the Dave Ramsey plan. But our emergency fund isn’t ready for a full on emergency like this. At this point it is unsettling to think of depending on speaking engagements for income.
During all of this discussing and planning and evaluating, I felt an old familiar gnawing. What advice would I give to someone else in this situation?!
I would advise that I DO everything I can DO. (check)
I would advise that I tell everyone I know of my sitation. (working on it)
I would advise that I enlist the prayer warriors to pray for God’s will to be clear. (working on it)
I would advise that I make sure my husband and I are on the same page. (unclear)
I would advise that I intensify the marketing of my speaking ministry. (almost there)
I would advise that I soak in all information regarding resumes and networking. I haven’t had to do that for TEN years! (scary)
I would advise that I trust the plans God has for me because He has always been faithful to me. (check)
I would advise that I listen to godly people whom I respect. (in progress)
Here are some things some godly people have said recently:
Shirley Bertholf – Eager to be Free
Donna Savage – Money Lessons from Little Women
Michael Hyatt – Six Ways to Take a Mini Sebatical
One of the songs from worship today:
I will walk through the fire, I will run and not grow tired
For I know You are faithful to me
Through the night I have peace, even though I cannot see
For I know You are faithful to me
I am safe in Your hands, and upon Your Word I stand
For I know You are faithful to me
When the storm clouds appear, there is love that conquers fear
Yes, I know you are faithful to me.
written by our worship pastor, Bob Diehm
Wow.
Watching for God’s plan …
And here is the link to my blog, in case you’re reading this somewhere else.
www.candytroutman.wordpress.com
Candy's office during Christmas
Candy Blogs: I have Fridays off. Today I went to water aerobics, the dentist, breakfast and the bank. At each place I was greeted cheerfully by name. (granted, the bank teller only knew my name because my account was on her screen) But as I was driving home, I was very aware that my life had some kind of impact in many different circles of my life. How did they all know my name? I admit that it felt very nice to be greeted by name.
I have an inner circle of family and friends, and several circles beyond. It’s comfortable and intimate inside that inner circle. We all need one. The world is a big, lonely place without one. We don’t usually do well outside of “community.” God made us relational. But each extending circle or level of relationship is also important. We have extended family, acquaintances, contacts. In my Creative Memories business we have a FRANK list; it stands for friends, relatives, acquaintances, neighbors and kids (people we know because of our kids). It’s a good representation of the mix of relationships in our normal life. Today I started out in my inner circle with my husband … comfortable and loving. At water aerobics, we have developed some new friendships, over the last almost two years, just by consistently being in the same place at the same time. We’ve gradually learned more about each other and enjoy a very pleasant but on the surface relationship.
At breakfast, Scott and I are welcomed enthusiastically because we’ve been going to the same restaurant for breakfast for the last five years, maybe longer. I can’t really remember when we first started going there. We’re told that we’re always friendly and kind to the staff and tell them how great our experience is there. We don’t really think about it, we’re just being, what to us is, “normal.” And we’ve been banking at our bank for more than ten years. We like them because they’re local and personal and friendly. So we’re personal and friendly when we interact with them.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
9 Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
10 If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
We put a physical touch to how God relates to human beings. We’re His hands and feet and mouth and hugs. We need the interaction with others, and others need the interaction with us. We are not an island. We’re part of something bigger. We need the gifts and strengths of others, and others need what we have to offer. It works both directions. Most of the time we don’t even realize the impact our life is having on others … in all the circles of our lives. God’s plan is that we build relationships so we can build the Kingdom and enjoy being “citizens” once we’re a part of it. But most of all, to enjoy being citizens of the heavenly Kingdom that will never end!
Every action of our lives touches on some chord that will vibrate in eternity.
E. H. Chapin
Chloe kitty basks in the light
Psalm 143
A psalm of David.
1 O LORD, hear my prayer,
listen to my cry for mercy;
in your faithfulness and righteousness
come to my relief.
2 Do not bring your servant into judgment,
for no one living is righteous before you.
3 The enemy pursues me,
he crushes me to the ground;
he makes me dwell in darkness
like those long dead.
4 So my spirit grows faint within me;
my heart within me is dismayed.
5 I remember the days of long ago;
I meditate on all your works
and consider what your hands have done.
6 I spread out my hands to you;
my soul thirsts for you like a parched land.
7 Answer me quickly, O LORD;
my spirit fails.
Do not hide your face from me
or I will be like those who go down to the pit.
8 Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul.
9 Rescue me from my enemies, O LORD,
for I hide myself in you.
10 Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God;
may your good Spirit
lead me on level ground.
11 For your name’s sake, O LORD, preserve my life;
in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble.
12 In your unfailing love, silence my enemies;
destroy all my foes,
for I am your servant.
A few things I’ve learned from being in pain:
~ isolation keeps us in our pain and from moving forward
When I avoided contact with others, I was the loser. I was keeping myself from moving past the pain. Yes, there is risk in revealing shame and imperfection. But we rarely experience growth outside of “community.”
~ accountability (liable to being called to account; answerable)
Accountability is key to growth. Having trusted, wise people in our lives to help us stay on the path leads to health. We must be willing to be open and honest with at least one other person, and be willing to hear the truth about ourselves. We can’t see ourselves as others see us; we have blind spots. We have to get outside our own thoughts and opinions and pain.
~ woman in the mirror
We have to be willing to take an honest look at ourselves, ugliness and all. We can’t change anyone else, but we can allow God to change us. Most of the time it’s a painful process. When we finally get down to the underlying issues of our pain, we then have to begin the process of change.
God is more concerned with our character than our comfort. We spend too much energy on making sure we are always comfortable; we think there is something wrong if we experience discomfort. God’s purpose for our lives isn’t that we’re happy, but that we are godly. Happiness is solely dependent on ever-changing outside circumstances. Our godliness comes from God … from the inside. How does a godly woman think and behave? Tantrums? Blame? Manipulation? Unreasonable expectations? Retaliation? Denial? Co-dependency? Silence? Taking and not giving?
~ freedom is on the other side of the door
The most important thing I learned through pain is that freedom is just on the other side of the door. But I have to be willing to walk through the door to get to it. As long as I continue to fight God’s best for me instead of yield to it, I will remain on the wrong side of the door. The pain will continue to intensify and it will become “familiar.” And it’s easier to stay in the familiar mode than do the hard work to move past it. I often say “change will only happen when the pain gets greater than the fear.”
9 An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. 11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. Luke 2:9-11
Jesus loves us. He came into time and space as a baby to intersect with our lives. His love transcends any circumstance, any condition, any economy, any broken relationship. He came to give life, light and hope. Take hold of it.
I saw these great questions about Christmas on my friend, Sheila’s blog. It’s fun to share these things! Would love to hear how you do Christmas!
1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?
Maybe egg nog once … I prefer coffee
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?
wrap, of course
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?
White and pre-lit on the beautiful artificial tree; no stress
4. Do you hang mistletoe?
no, but I should
5. When do you put your decorations up?
first weekend of December; I like to enjoy Thanksgiving
6. What is your favorite holiday dish?
turkey & potatoes & gravy, then pumpkin pie
7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child?
at our grandma’s house in northern Idaho … sledding, snow angels, snowflakes on my tongue, family in every square inch of the house
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
never really did believe in Santa
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
Growing up we opened all gifs on Christmas Eve; but did it on Christmas morning with our own children. Sometimes when t hey couldn’t stand it, we let them open a gift on Christmas Eve.
10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree?
this year … burgundy and gold balls, gold garland and always the four original ornaments for our wedding, the two kids and our very first Christmas ornament we received as a gift.
11. Snow! Love it or Dread it?
Love snow … so peaceful and pure, but but don’t wish to drive in it on long trips
12. Can you ice skate?
no
13. Do you remember your favorite gift?
clock radio
14. What’s the most important thing about the Holidays for you?
being with family
15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert?
pumpkin pie
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
a new tradition that has developed since our kids have grown up and started coming “home” to our house for Christmas is everyone putting our Christmas cards to each other on the tree when they arrive. We take the time to read them all before opening gifts.
17. What tops your tree?
nothing
18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving?
giving
19. What is your favorite Christmas Song?
I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas and Joy to the World
20. Candy Canes: Yuck or Yum?
Yum!
21. Favorite Christmas Show?
White Christmas
Candy blogs: “I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.” Luke 2:10-11
I have so been enjoying this Christmas season. Have you? I really believe it’s because, as a friend said recently, I have purposefully built margin into my December. There is so much to do in December … all good. But if the activity doesn’t leave you time for pondering the season, have you really experienced it? Or have you just done a lot of good things?
To ponder means to consider something deeply and thoroughly; to meditate. This is tough in our culture, isn’t it? My first pondering of the season is the morning after I decorate the Christmas tree. I get up early, turn it on in the dark house and just sit and ponder … me and the tree and the Lord. And the Christmas spirit miraculously descends upon me! In the quietness and the magical light of the Christmas tree, my mind is freed to let the thoughts come forward and into the Light.
It’s important to have a place to ponder. Is it by the fire, at the dining room table with a cup of coffee, in your bedroom before you turn off the lamp at night, in your car with no radio or CD playing, folding laundry, on the treadmill? Wherever it is, I encourage you to spend some time there, especially in December. Dennis Rainey says, ‘We’re always puttering and planning and doing and moving from one place to the next but never stopping . . . and listening . . . and recharging . . . and pondering.”
December is the time we reflect on and celebrate the birth of our dear Savior. Simply performing familiar rituals and traditions and singing Christmas carols and giving to the needy won’t take us all the way there. Our spirit must make a connection with His spirit. “The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.” Romans 8:16 When we take the time to allow that to happen, God floods in and we can bask in a fresh awareness of what He did for us when He came to Bethlehem. Our perspective changes. We remember what is truly important and of eternal value.
Enjoy the fun, familiar things of an American Christmas season! But build in some margin and spend some of that margin pondering the glorious coming of Jesus Christ to earth so we can be called children of God.
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Candy blogs: I often describe myself as a “moment catcher.” I have a passion for etching special moments into my mind (and my camera) to be enjoyed again and again. Our lives are made up of “moments.” When you add them all up, they are our life. They are all we really have, and when we’re gone from this life, they will go with us unless we have taken the time to bring the moments to life by taking photographs and journaling our experiences and thoughts.
The holidays bring up the strongest desire to recall and create moments … the familiar … the traditions … being with our loved ones. The weather, the music, the smells, the foods … they all bring up special moments from the past. We love to re-live them; we even re-create them for our children. The weather has turned colder and that makes us turn inward. Some moments just happen on their own. But others are created. I just enjoyed looking at some photographs of a friend with her first grandbaby. Now there are some MOMENTS, huh?! I’m grateful that someone thought to snap a picture. But even if there was no picture, the story can still be told in words. In fact, pictures are pretty much worthless without the stories that go along with them. So it really comes down to words. We can have all kinds of moments tucked in our memories but unless we turn them into words, our moments … our lives … will most likely fade after the next generation.
“The palest ink is better than the sharpest memory.” Chinese proverb
This from my company’s website: “When the economy is in strife, when the immediate future isn’t abundantly clear, people are drawn to the comfort of their homes. It’s called cocooning, as coined by renowned marketing consultant and futurist Faith Popcorn.
Popcorn’s recent “Culture of the Recession” survey found that 72 percent of respondents are spending more time at home. “What it means is the next iteration of cocooning – uber-cocooning – will see people retreat to their homes as the safe haven from the increasingly threatening outside world,” Popcorn says.
As with other periods of uncertainty on the national and global scale – past recessions, the attacks of 9/11 – people tend to assess their lives and focus on what’s truly important. And family, memories and connecting with others are often what people value most.”
This is the perfect time to put some words to your moments. You are spending more time inside with your friends and family. We’re in the holiday season between Thanksgiving and Christmas so our moment antennae are running at high frequency. What are you thinking about?
I’m thinking about leaning way forward in the car to catch the first glimpse of the lights from Grandpa and Grandma’s house after a very long drive, the candy and caramel popcorn grandpa would have waiting for us, the fudge and pies that Grandma had hidden all over the house to be brought out at strategic times, the four part harmony of family singing, the games of Jotto and Dominos and Battleship, the bountiful meals, the endless hand dishwashing, the sledding, the snow games, the wooden rack set up over the wood heat register from the scary basement for our wet hats and gloves and socks, the creaky stairs that led to the playroom with antique toys, the programs put on by all the grandkids, the presents, the chaos, the laughter … the utter contentment. Christmas at my grandparents’ house was like being under a magical spell. We literally lived all year to get to Christmas in northern Idaho. And we cried for miles when we had to go back home. Can you see all that in this picture?
Christmas in Northern Idaho, 1974
Don't let the moments of your life go unnoticed and unheard. Think about them, write them down and share them with those who matter to you. Be a moment catcher. It’s catching!
www.candytroutman.wordpress.com
An invitation to ACT upon the truth from God that is brought home to your soul.
“It’s not enough to read the cookbook. Eat the meal.” Adrian Rogers
I haven’t posted for quite a while. I have several posts started but haven’t been able to make up my mind which idea to actually post! I’ve been slightly paralyzed. Recently, I’ve been sensing the wooing of the Holy Spirit, drawing me to a deeper path yet again. I have taken some major steps of obedience in the last year and half, but a couple of weeks ago I read the following and was stopped dead in my tracks. I immediately knew what my next steps were to be.
From MY UTMOST FOR HIS HIGHEST
The Authority of Reality
Draw nigh to God, and He will draw nigh to you. James 4:8
It is essential to give people a chance to act on the truth of God. The responsibility must be left with the individual, you cannot act for him, it must be his own deliberate act, but the evangelical message ought always to lead a man to act. The paralysis of refusing to act leaves a man exactly where he was before; when once he acts, he is never the same. It is the foolishness of it that stands in the way of hundreds who have been convicted by the Spirit of God. Immediately I precipitate myself over into an act, that second I live; all the rest is existence. The moments when I truly live are the moments when I act with my whole will.
Candy’s comments: Isn’t that amazing?! You might want to read that again to get the full impact. To me, the key phrase in that paragraph is “the paralysis of refusing to act leaves a man exactly where he was before …” That’s how I’ve been feeling lately. I had come as far as I was going to come without taking a new path.
But I know I want to truly LIVE. I don’t want to stay where I am. It will require some new changes. For me that means several things:
1) paying more attention to my calendar and not letting other things interfere with my water aerobics. I have been “pretty” faithful to my exercise but, when I think about it, I have scheduled some fun girlie outings on my days off and haven’t replaced the exercise time. I had stopped losing weight and was wondering why. This is why.
2) spending more time reading the Bible. I’ve been reading books about speaking and studying social networking and making connections and preparing for kicking up my speaking ministry. But I have let this preparation move in on my personal time with God and His word. It’s time to rein that in.
3) lessening my caloric intake. Ouch, I don’t like that one. But I am really sensing it’s time. I’ve taken improving my health in steps and, apparently, it’s time to take the next one.
… the moments when I truly live are the moments when I act with my whole will. I don’t want to just exist spiritually; I want to really live.
Consider what the Holy Spirit may be wooing you to. What changes are you sensing He wants you to make?
Never allow a truth of God that is brought home to your soul to pass without acting on it, not necessarily physically, but in will. Record it, with ink or with blood. The feeblest saint who transacts business with Jesus Christ is emancipated the second he acts; all the almighty power of God is on his behalf. We come up to the truth of God, we confess we are wrong, but go back again; then we come up to it again, and go back; until we learn that we have no business to go back. We have to go clean over on some word of our redeeming Lord and transact business with Him. His word “come” means “transact.” “Come unto Me.” The last thing we do is to come; but everyone who does come knows that that second the supernatural rush of the life of God invades him instantly. The dominating power of the world, the flesh and the devil is paralysed, not by your act, but because your act has linked you on to God and His redemptive power.
Candy’s Comments: This paragraph tells me that the intensity of our walk depends on the intensity of our obedience. When we are finally ready to transact business with God Almighty and come to Him, it is the result of choices we’ve made along the way. When we actually come, we are acting on the truth that’s been revealed to us. And that act unleashes the power of God in us! That’s a great, big wow, isn’t it?!
When we are sensing that God Himself is speaking to us about something, it’s serious business. It shouldn’t be something we put on the back burner for when we have more time or when we get around to it. When you think about it, when we don’t act on the truth we know, it’s like telling God that everything is more important than He is at the moment. Where do we get off doing that?! Hello?
Sometimes we don’t get the whole picture as He’s speaking. That’s why writing it down is important. As you look back through the things you’ve been learning, you will see a pattern. Eventually you’ll see the picture God wants you to see. And God’s power will flow through you to impact the Kingdom … until He calls you to take the next new step.
I’m movin’ on down the road. Come on along.
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“When the sun goes down below the horizon, he is not set; the heavens glow for a full hour after his departure. And when a great and good man sets, the sky of this world is luminous long after he is out of sight. Such a man cannot die out of this world.” Beecher
Sunday, October 25 marks the 12th year since my beloved grandfather, Rev. Kenneth R. Bertholf, passed away. This saying was on the cover of his funeral program. It seemed so fitting. But when I created it and his obituary, I struggled with trying to condense 92 years into a few paragraphs. How can one do justice to a whole lifetime on a single piece of paper?
Grandpa Ken was born in Tekoa, WA on April 28, 1905, one of ten children. He was quite an athelete and especially loved baseball … the Braves. He was also a country musician. He had a wonderful bass voice, and played the fiddle, guitar, steel guitar and harmonica. (Would playing the washtub in a kitchen band also count?) He was an old time lumberjack, short order cook, insurance salesman, vitamin salesman and carpenter.
When he was 29 years old, he became a Christian and felt called to be a minister of the Gospel. He married my grandmother, Blanche Payne, in 1935 and they spent the next 46 years planting, building and pastoring churches around the northwest.
But these are only public and general details “about” my grandfather. They don’t tell you about the kind of man he really was …
As a young child, I lived with my grandparents on a church campground in the mountains of beautiful northern Idaho for two years, and spent every summer with them until I was a senior in high school. I have wonderful memories of long, lazy summers in their home. Almost every evening after dinner, I would sit on my grandpa’s lap to hear stories from God’s Word, the Bible. Grandpa loved the outdoors and took my brother and me on long hikes in the woods on Sunday afternoons. He showed us the needles of different pine trees; some had two, some had three, and some had five separate needles. Then he would run them through his mouth, and no matter how many strands it started with, they would all form one strand, one complete needle. He wondered at this simple miracle. He whittled us whistles out of sticks and told us we should never try to outrun a bear! He taught us the parts of the flower and how to blaze a trail through the woods. He used to jump over picnic tables and kick the tops of doors well into his 60’s. We played math games and made snow angels and went sledding. I’ll never forget his silly Indian talking and dancing. He always had a huge garden and we loved the fruits of his labor! But by far our favorite activity with Grandpa was sitting at his feet while he sang his cowboy songs with his guitar and harmonica.
Yet even more important than these more intimate family things, was the fact that Grandpa loved people to Jesus. He was always the center of attention; children and young people flocked to him. He always had a silly joke or a silly song or a silly face. He made people laugh and feel comfortable. You always knew when he was in the room. He had a special love for those who didn’t know Jesus and led many to Christ over his lifetime. It was his passion. Through his sacrifices of time and salary and worldly possessions, God used him mightily to change the lives of thousands of individuals and families. His life was always focused on others.
My grandfather was always the one unchanging presence in my life. As a child, he gave me the stability I needed in my very unstable world. After his passing, I felt rather alone and adrift … unanchored. I had so depended on his predictability and steadfastness for my strength. Grandpa had become my father image. Because of him, I knew that God, my heavenly Father, was wonderful and loving. But I have remembered what he taught me about God: that He is the only one from whom I can draw lasting strength and peace and direction. Because my grandfather loved and mentored me every summer, I grew up to realize that God alone was the one immovable and unchanging force in my life.
Grandpa was 92 when he died; he said that 92 was old enough to die. He was ready for heaven. I will always carry a part of Grandpa Ken inside me. I especially miss him at this time of year. But I remember what he taught me and who he pointed me to.
Kenneth Ross Bertholf … a great and good man.
“Let this be for a future generation, that a people not yet created may praise the Lord.” Psalm 102:18
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Thank you to all who have been asking about my speaking trip this week! God was in the house!
There was one decision for Christ! I am so excited for this. She was a high school girl and sat right next to me at the table. Be sure to pray for her as the gals in Pocatello follow up to encourage her to be part of a Bible Study and find a church to learn about her new journey.
I am also excited about how the Lord confirmed the topic and the message. The outline for this message flowed out in about 30 minutes. I knew it was inspired. The women indeed related to being “out of money, out of time and out of strength.” And, as always, God took it to places I never imagined in the hearts of women. My conversations with women after each luncheon were moving and inspiring.
I love sharing my heart with women! But I knew by how tired I was afterwards that I had been doing spiritual battle. I slept almost all the way home to Boise, on and off throughout the evening and until about 8 a.m. this morning. This is exactly why I have a team of prayer warriors! This ministry cannot be done without the powerful prayers of God’s people behind it. My heart is so grateful; I am always amazed and humbled by it.
As you may have noticed, I have adopted this quote by Kay Arthur:
“You are accountable only for your gifts and ministry. Don’t look at the effects and evaluate yourself or your gifts on that basis. Gifts are from the Spirit, the ministry is from the Lord, and the effect is from God — your responsibility is simply to be faithful.”
Kay Arthur
I pray He always finds me faithful.
Choosing joy!
Hello everyone.
I ask for your prayers as Scott heads out with me to eastern Idaho to speak for two Stonecroft Ministries Women’s Connection luncheons. As always, my first priority is that women will be saved as they hear the Gospel. My second priority is that young families will hear the cry of my heart to slow down and simplify their lives.
Thursday, Oct. 14 Idaho Falls, Idaho at noon MDT – Red Lion Inn
Friday, Oct. 15 Pocatello, Idaho at 11:45 a.m. MDT – Red Lion Inn
Blessings!
(Facebookers … sorry for the double whammy here. I’ve already posted on FB; this is coming from my blog.)
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