I am My Husband’s Girlfriend

1976

1976

Have you ever heard Dr. Laura ask a caller if they are their husband’s girlfriend? The first time I heard this, it made me stop and think. It took me back to high school when my husband and I were dating. How was it different in 1977 than 2009?

I Flirted with Him
You remember how to do that, don’t you? The batting of the eyelids, the sultry sideways glances, the winking, the come hither smile, the soft, feminine voice, the lingering EYE CONTACT. Wowsa! It sure worked back then. I just got a chill!

I was Playful
My husband had a fantastic 1964 Chevy Impala convertible. It was immaculate. We had excellent adventures in the Chevy, top down and radio blaring. I always sat in the middle, right up against him, wherever we went. My father in law once told us he couldn’t see the light of day between us in that car! We laughed and teased and understood FUN. I was carefree and looking toward the future.

I was Careful with my Appearance
I never left the house without a final check: Farrah Faucett hair, Lindsey Wagoner (The Bionic Woman) makeup, nails, Cachet perfume, fresh breath. I dressed for my man, and he always showed his appreciation.

He had Top Billing in My Life
I never would have dreamed to be too busy if he called for a date. I longed to be with him all the time. There was nothing or no one that had a higher priority in my life than him. I was willing to drop anything to be with him.

I was Passionate about Him and with Him
The one thing that says teenage love is passion! Am I right?! And we had it. Within Biblical guidelines, it is normal and right. God created it for us to enjoy. I loved to look at his face, his hands, his hair, his body. I loved to look into his big cow brown eyes. (I definitely hated his feet for the first few years but they have grown on me.) We loved holding hands and walking arm in arm. We brushed up against each other as we walked by. Our kisses were lingering, our words affirming. I loved how he smelled.

That’s how it was in 1977 …

We’re still choosing love daily in 2009. I admit I am sometimes guilty of falling down on the job of being my husband’s girlfriend. He still responds in a big way to all these areas of care. During the intense child-rearing years it was more difficult to nurture our marriage in these ways. And we definitely go through seasons of intensity in a long-term relationship. But overall, we would do well as women to keep these priorities in mind as we travel down the road of marriage. There’s a big payoff!

    Personal Note:

If you’re reading my posts from somewhere else (like Facebook) or email, I would love it if you would actually link to my blog to make your comments. It helps get the word out. Thank you so much.
www.candytroutman.wordpress.com

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14 responses

  1. I really enjoyed this article! Making marriage a priority is something that is often scoffed at by women in their child rearing years. I have realized that working towards a stable, happy marriage is in the best interest of children.

    1. You are so right! Most women believe their children are their first priority. To some extent this is true, of course. Children are dependent on adults for every need and those needs must be met. But defining needs is where the waters can become muddied. Children need to learn that they aren’t the center of the universe. Supplying every whim is not love; it teaches children to be self-centered and selfish. Our society is filled with it. Keeping the marriage strong builds security and safety in the entire family. Dad and mom are the wall of love and protection to their children. When that wall gets cracks in it and begins to crumble, the family follows suit. We are wives first.

  2. I thought I was the only one who used the word “wowsa” and who didn’t like to talk on the phone!

    Thanks for visiting my blog!

    Jill
    http://www.jillcampbellfarris.com

  3. thanks Candy, this helped me as I am going through the not feeling the connection on my side and he says things haven’t changed for him.. so this helped me realize that I can do that little smile and still look at him as I did when we were dating even if you have kids.

    1. Hello Denise ~ Marriage for a lifetime isn’t easy, is it? Sometimes when our feelings aren’t there we can lead with our actions and the feelings will follow. Feelings ebb and flow; that is normal. Our commitment will carry us through those times of ebbing. One more thing … don’t coast. Coasting in marriage leads to neglect and neglect leads to coldness. A happy, living marriage takes effort. The flirting, the dates, the remembering when love was young are things we can DO to nudge our feelings back.

      Happy nudging!

      Candy

  4. [...] I am my husband’s girlfriend by Candy. [...]

  5. Currently in the “intense child raising years” – this was good to hear. Thank you for writing it out.

    1. Hi Carrie ~ we will never hit it every time. Life happens. But I think if we can stay aware of how much it can mean to us and our husband if we lovingly nurture, we’ll enjoy the benefits of a lifetime together. It just helps to be reminded, doesn’t it? Be encouraged and be passionate! :)

  6. Great advice! Lots of books have been written with “101 to show your man you love him” etc., but if we just get into the “girlfriend attitude” I think everything else falls into place!

    1. Yes, Vicki, I love your phrase “girlfriend attitude.” Let’s get the ‘tude! Woo hoo!

  7. Good reminders — it’s so easy to get into a rut and forget to take time for each other in all those little ways.

  8. Candy, I love this post and the great picture! 1977 was a great year. I was 15 and had the same hair. I am failing miserably at being my husband’s girlfriend. I’ll try to remember this and do better.

  9. Candy,
    You and your boyfriend are an inspiration!! Thank you for your wise words!
    Sheila

  10. Great post. My husband and I flirt and date and as we grow older together, we never grow tired of each other. Nineteen years and still going, we are very much enjoying our marriage and life together! — JAMN

    http://justaminutenow.wordpress.com

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